Getting To Know One Another

Learning How To Court and Date

 It's very important that we teach our children how to court and date. And it's also very important that we teach our children and young adults how to select potential mates. Too many of us keep doing the same thing over and over expecting that the next generation will be any different. And because we don’t change, our children's mate selection doesn't improve. We have to understand that we are the model from which our children will replicate (good or bad).

   In other words, our children attract who they are. So if we want our children to attract a person who is loving, responsible, mature, self-sufficient, nurturing, and loyal, we must Show & Tell! We have to stop developing immature, irresponsible, dependent young people and expect them to attract a person who is everything that I've listed in the previous sentence. Now this is not to suggest your child will not attract someone who is fundamentally opposite of him/her; however, those folks usually don’t stay. Mature and stable people usually don't stay with immature and unstable people.

   We must teach our youth and young adults how to listen and receive wise council. Too many of them don’t get the 'soul food' needed to assist them make sound decisions that will lead to a great outcome. Too often, it goes in one ear and out the other because they don’t respect the person giving the advice. Or maybe it’s because of how the advice is given. Or maybe there aren't enough wise elders in our children's lives. Wisdom (in terms of relationships) come from age and experience. This is why in some indigenous societies, children are trained up by the elders in the community.

   Every potential mate of your child should be 'interviewed' by elders in the family (men and women). Now when I say elder, I’m talking about someone who’s over a certain age, has a certain amount of life experiences and possess a high moral code of living. And their thoughts should be heavily considered in the decision to enter into a serious relationship. This maybe an unpopular opinion; however, there are too many children born into dysfunctional and unstable environments.

   We should encourage our children to become mature and stable before entering a serious relationship. Too often, many of us entered into serious relationships before we were mature and stable human beings. Thus, many of us entered into 'situations' where abuse and neglect happened. And sadly, many of us bore children into these volatile environments. We must make a concerted effort to break this cycle.

   Too many young adults are making the same mistakes that their parents have made regarding relationships. This is having devastating effect on our family structure and our communities.